Wilde & Restless - It all made sense, now.

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Here are a few facts about WILDE & RESTLESS and this sample:

  • Unedited. (VERY) I'm busy finishing up this story right now.
  • Subject to change. 
  • Could cause an emotional outburst.
  • April 27th release (this Friday!).
  • Available for preorder by clicking HERE!

Wilde.

He’d given me what I wanted and I can’t say that it was all I needed. As we stood in silence readjusting our clothing, I felt the shift in the atmosphere. Jhalil was plain sick of my shit, which made me wonder if mentioning my grandmother’s conversation and the new demons I was fighting.

Would he even care?

I’d like to have called him selfish, but I knew that the word didn’t fit his character. Jhalil gathered my things for me, shoving them into my hands and wishing me well as he revealed to me that he had a busy day and no time to keep with me.

Though it stung like hell to see him acting so nonchalant with me – all of a sudden – I held my composure and made my exit. It wasn’t until I made it to the car when all hell broke loose. In the midst of my tears, I typed away, expressing my plight and explaining his negligence of my feelings due to his impatience.

That was exactly nine days ago, and I still hadn’t heard a word from him. Jhalil didn’t even think enough of the outpouring of my feelings to text back. Withdrawals were something serious and had me shaking at the boots.

“You sure you’re going to be fine?”

“Chile. If you don’t get yourself out of my room, I’m going to kick you out.”

“Seems like you’re already doing that.” I sassed.

“Don’t be getting no attitude with me cause you deprived and dumb.”

Rolling my eyes, I began to back out of my grandmother’s bedroom. “OH, now you want to leave. Nah. Stay right there Ms. Attitude.”

“You’ve been walking around here with a chip on your shoulder since you went to visit that damn boy. My only guess is he’s gotten tired of putting up with your shit.”

“Mama.”

“And I’m glad, too. Cause, I told you. You think the sun rises and sets on your ass when it comes to him, but it doesn’t. That neglect you’re trying to avoid is staring you right in the face. You avoiding the man to avoid the heartache and trouble of it all and still ended up with the short end of the stick.

What difference is it… right now with him not worried about yo ass or you two splitting if things got crazy with the public’s opinion involved? You’ve made your scariest nightmare a reality, honey. I’m telling you, now. No one can fix that but you.”

“Is that all?” I scrunched my brows and folded my arms across my chest.

“Nah. You’re hiding something, but it won’t be long before you can’t conceal it.”

“Excuse me?” My neck reared backward, attempting to understand what she was hinting at, but I had no idea.

“Close my door behind you, child.”

Shrugging, I obeyed and continued about my day. After meeting with Rick at the club, I had two other stops to make, one included picking up Camden from school. I was so damned relieved that my grandmother was back home, because I’d missed my bed something awful.

As suspected, Rick wasn’t the happiest with my resignation. He’d lost a shitload of money since my absence and was praying to find some new talent that could replace me. I could only wish him good luck, because I knew damn well the task would be almost impossible.

With my body secretly convulsing behind my tinted window, I stared at the large sign that displayed the company’s name that it belonged to. Per usual, there were protesters crowding outside of the gates, seemingly a bit more than usual for a Tuesday. My appointment had been made three days prior, when I decided to quit ignoring the signs that my body was changing to accommodate the love note I’d been chosen to have.

Checking the time on my cell, I noticed I had no more to spare. As I exited my vehicle, shades low and hat covering the most of my face, I gnawed at my bottom lip – a sure sign of nervousness. The walk inside seemed to have been three miles long, but I managed. By the time I was inside of the office building, my nerves were scattered and unable to be tamed.

“Can I help you?” I heard behind me as I looked around the spacious waiting room.

There were only a few women, all with their heads stuck in their phone or a magazine. Shame polluted the air. I could smell it as I walked up the trail to get inside. Yet, there was only remorse on two of their faces out of the six that I counted.

Procedures were lengthy, the operator had told me last week. So, they refrain from scheduling too many people at once. It was also a plea for privacy on the patient’s behalf, another sign of shame. Or guilt. Whichever was chosen, they were suitable.

“Wilde Roads. I have an appointment.”

**

“That was a great speech you gave, Mr. Mayor.”

“Fucking murderer!”

“You are right. Women deserve to chose what they’re allowed to do with their bodies.”

“How would you like it if your mother would’ve aborted you?”

“Abortions are murder. Point. Blank. Period.”

“I was raped, Mayor Hanover. Abortion felt like my only option. Thank you.”

The subject was a sore one, usually on all sides. Personally, I was pro-life, but I understood that certain situations and circumstances weren’t idea to bring a child into. Plus, the world was so cruel to women, telling them how to use and when to use their bodies. I felt as if a woman didn’t want to have a child, then no one should make her.

The thought was absurd. We put so much pressure on women protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancies as if they could impregnate themselves. That is the reason most of my focus is towards raising young men that respect women and vice versa. It was all a system that worked together for the greater good.

I’d just finished my speech outside of Parenthood, a clinic that serviced low income mothers who were in need of abortions. There were a few other services they offered, but ninety-eight percent of their clients received abortions. Before heading back to my vehicle, it was a habit of mine to speak with the people.

“No, thank you.” I responded to the young lady in my path as we shook hands.

I continued through the crowd, ignoring the protesters who’d gathered in flocks. Their signs were large and voices were loud. One even had a bull horn in an attempt to drown me out as I was speaking. Of course, I understood their fight, but they had no rights deciding what someone else decided if it didn’t directly effect them.

Out the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the building. The same hat and shades that I’d seen a week or two ago came charging forward. The moisture in my cheeks evaporated, leaving my throat dry as I watched her climb into her car and reverse it.

Immovable.

I couldn’t move a muscle as I simply stared. Flashbacks of our last encounter began floating around in my head, accompanied with our moments of intimacy that led to unprotected sex. That unprotected sex led to poor removal skills at the sign of ejaculation. I was no good at the task.

The sudden change in behavior.

The not-so-obvious weight gain.

The emotional meltdowns.

The overbearing sex drive.

It all made sense to me, now. Considering where we were and what was done behind the doors of the office she’d just exited, there was only one conclusion to be made. My knees weakened and heart fought to exit my chest cavity.

Available for preorder. Just click HERE.

Grey HuffingtonComment